Lyrics

Never Alone

In a downcast moment on Derby Road I’m never, never alone. At a metro stop out in Hollywood the folks out there, folks out there go on their ways through the world like a guiding star was on the coast in a throat made of prism glass we’re coughing rays in a maze on a labrynth map that I’ve never been taught to know. It’s alright if you don’t know
where you’re going. It’s fine if you think you’re lost. Like your just hanging on a string like a spider wrapping string on his broken arms. In a coffee shop in old Amsterdam whenever I, whenever I go, hear those who laugh and those who’re scared that there are things we cannot know, and though I’d always encourage a clearer path I see the ghost of the
glow that my old friends had, under stress to impress and they’re getting sad, but they don’t know what else to do. It’s alright if you don’t know where you’re going. It’s fine if you’re giving up. When you’re boating in a ring it might be better off to swim on your own. You know some go to join the army and the mothers cry, some go to university and
wonder why, heard they landed on a comet but the battery died, though it gave everyone some hope, with myself included in hopeless days when everyone, everyone’s mad. Some folk hate those who immigrate and others hate folks in the banks. I’m feeling cold and I’m low cause I’m looking back to ’39 and the Reich and the things that happened
when the money dried out and the sky went black and the radical ivy grew. It’s alright if you don’t know where you’re going, it’s fine if you think we’re young. If we had nothing left to do but to go along with you we’d be old, but who’d bring children up to live in a world discriminating at all?

Dream Real

Give me cleaner days and more laughter, or let me medicate and go faster. All my friends went and got good jobs. I’m the only one messing up. I tried to quit but I give up, and every day I’m clean I’m lower. I know it’s old, and I know it’s understood, that it can feel like there’s nobody around when you’re trying to keep your demons away, you’re feeling
broke up and beat in and let down. I know I’m rolling down a roadwork of railway line looking for someone there to tell me where it is I’m going and whether I have reason to fear. See I remember as a five year old a Ferrari car was all I could hope one day to own. Now it’s day to day highs and a chronic fear of hitting a low. All my friends went and got
good jobs. I’m the only one messing up. I try to quit but I give up, and every day I’m clean I’m low. I know some who would go and conquer the world. If you can get me out of bed babe, we can see how it goes. I know some who would make a little prayer for a statue in Trafalgar Square, but who needs them when I’ve got you and I’m happy here. Give
me cleaner days and more laughter. Let me medicate and go faster. Give me better health and more doctors. Keep me underwhelmed and proud of it, ’cause I don’t want to conquer the world, no.

All I Know

All I know is I’m gonna love you, whether you know it at all, whether I show it at all, whether you think of me well, whether you come out of your shell, whether you hate me for all I said at our curtain fall, please know I didn’t mean a word of what I’d said. That’s a lie, ’cause I really did hate you. When you moved all your stuff away I didn’t know what
to say, I thought we’d marry one day – I’d buy a ring, you’d say okay – you wouldn’t leave me for him, I wouldn’t take up smoking. I’d be a genuine optimist today. “What’s that you say? There’s a long long time gone!” I know it well, I never use your name, but there’s something deep inside that just won’t go away. Though I try my best to change I feel the
ache. When I see you having fun with him, after the moment of pain when I wish things were the same, after the long vacant stare, after I’ve pulled out a few hairs, when I am calmly undone and I’ve spent more than I earn on beer and other things to help me feel okay, I start to think you came along like a bullet with no gun, content to fill a hole and fire
away. Getting older has a way to neutralise my shame in loving someone who would not remain. All I’ve got is my memory of you. You’re probably different today. I know I am, anyway. You’re still with him I assume. I’ve met a girl, we’re happy together and she understands you’re no threat to our plans. I’ll never tell you that I think about the old
days, but all I know is I’ll love you.

Looking Wonderful

You know I felt bad but now I feel great all day. I hit the bar, spend my money and bad thoughts go away :-]! It’s looking wonderful! You know I hope you never go! I’ve fallen out with everyone that I know! I’ve been clichéd for every day they’ve known me, and all contrived in Your Time and in Lefty. It’s Looking Wonderful! You know it’s good for your
esteem when every hope is doubted as a pipe dream! You’ve got a day job! A lawyer too! Well I’m dosed up, loaded, introverted, speak in phrases always coded and give you hell though I’m devoted. See I’ve got no passion, prone to blues, and all my heroes hate my shoes. I laugh it off thinking I’m gonna lose, ’cause failure’s alright with you, honey!
See I loved you for every day you’d left me, and I understood the call to go your own way! It’s looking wonderful! You know I’m really getting fat! I gained a stone in one month now, how is that!?

Take It From Me

Now when you were younger you fought with your mother, who kicked you out for her new husband and daughter. You fell into cocaine and other white powders. You moved in with me then and I found a brother. I don’t think my chair high- see, I am no better. I took too much tea, now I’m paranoid somehow. I can’t take a shower without finding a tumour
and the worry goes on and then on and then on and then on like a stupor. I was an academic boy with an apple for teacher, a craving for structure, with mild pre-insomnia misdiagnosed as a product of coke with his dinner. He wasn’t sure yet, not sure yet if he’d be a winner. But work hard, mind clear with a mission, fight off competition and from what I can see, you’ll have a big house then but it won’t make you happy. Live life while you’re young, kid, take it from me.

Some Of You Don’t Get It

Some of us are good but none of us are well. You know today I’ll be weaker than you could ever tell. I’ll go and put on my shirt, tie, suit-jacket and try my best to yell of how I always work best under pressure, when really I’m in hell. I’m only after food and clothes. I’m not after the world. But some of you don’t get it. You think it’s all an act. You think
anxiety’s weakness and there’s no room for that. I’ve done my best to keep so damn clean lately and I’ve been feeling bad. Where’s the positive reinforcement to keep us on this track? I’m only after food and clothes. I’m not after the world. Still I pay a twenty to a taxi just so he can drive me 5 yards down the road. I feel better for half a day or so. Then
the next week’s not just going slow, it’s crashing. I’m so out of fashion with the way this world works. Some of us are jokers, but none of us are fools. We only get by by mocking the system and the rules. I’ve got a choice between being a failure in your eyes or a pawn in mine, so I choose the passage of failure and fail on my own time. I’m only after food
and clothes. I’m not after the world. Still there are moments when I look around for anybody else who feels this way. I’m alone now and I feel like I’m insane. And my paper trail / The Daily Mail would call me but a scrounger. If I could only be myself I’d work all day. But some of you don’t get it.

Dulcimer

Looking at the door, you see I want to go. I don’t know at all why you would want to stay. Everyone I know thinks I’m a little bit lost. Sleeping in the day and waking to a haze of life wasted. They ranked us all in public to show our limitations off. We grow old. We go off. We’re thrown out. I don’t know at all how I will feel later on, and why should you care? We both know by now that you have done nothing wrong. An SSRI or beer might cloud my brain, and I couldn’t write then. Oh, how quixotic, a singer with issues – another one, another one. I have nothing but love for you. It’s just this demon kicking out.

Rising Star

I play shows for those who’ve made a million and for each hundred I’ve had the money of one. I’m grateful ‘cause that’s how I’ve got to be. When it all comes down to the leverage of value, we’re not quite there, we need each and every avenue or else we fail in this monopoly. I went out to please Mother. Made a hundred applications, no offer, and I lost my rag and shouted at the bullies in the boardroom barking out the budget, how there’s fifty grand for a favourite relative and nothing for the graduate. A soldier, yeah you could always be a soldier, and make a living saying “I don’t know but I’ve been told” he’s a Rising Star. Keep them tired and they work harder. Work real late, sleep under the counter. In department stores in ’29 this worked out fine – we’ll do it like the last time. Charles Darwin said it would be alright – if they’re weak they don’t deserve our time.

Free Range

One good day, hoping for another, waiting for a messenger, waiting for a knock on the door, you say that I’ll never have to worry when I get paid, I get paid, I get paid a visit from my father, looking for my mother, got a clear view that she’s stumbled into bother. But woah, woah! Why would you think that, Dad? She’s cool, she’s out with Pauline, Maureen, Lyn & Dave, I think you’re going mad. It must get lonely some days when you’re on your own, working on the garden, digging up a conifer, drinking three bottles a day, you say that you’ll never have to worry about dementia, dementia.She mentioned a relative opium den of a dinner, covered in butter, covered in butter, now it’s spinach, kale and flax seed at the bottom, can’t see a box without thinking of a coffin and you’re overwhelmed cause you don’t want to die, I joke that I cannot see why and I’m only hoping I can reach the sky before I come on crashing down to earth. Mama’s running from a lover low like a Desdemona. Daddy’s had a little dizzy spell and I’m on the dole. It seems that if you’re happy you’re a druggy, if you’re sober then you just don’t want to know. Please excuse me for being ironic, helps me when I’m clean to not be so psychotic. When anxiety is out and Louise is in I’m pretty laid back, with eyes peeled and a straight back you’re buying free range and totally organic. Mother got sick and died without a panic. She was all post war, a ration for a carrot, a working class labour with a mark on every ballot, and you’re overwhelmed ‘cause you don’t want to die. I joke that I cannot see why. I’m only hoping I can reach the sky before I come on crashing down to earth. Mama’s running from a lover low like a Desdemona. Daddy’s had a little dizzy spell and I’m on the dole. It seems that if you’re happy you’re a druggy, if you’re sober then you just don’t want to know what goes on when you let yourself go. One good day, hoping for another, waiting for a messenger, waiting for a knock on the door, you say that I’ll never have to worry when I get paid, I get paid, I get paid a visit from the doctor, been talking to my mother, got a clear view that I’ve stumbled into bother. But woah, woah – why would you think that man?
I think you’re going mad…

It’s Been A Long Day

Over there I saw Goliath throwing rocks across a border, knowing well through history how it felt to look through David’s eyes. I fall apart, as you know quite well, when I see the world on a mad spiral. I don’t know if everybody’s gonna get on again at all. Over here I’ve got a girl who knows the bother in my conscience at saying nothing, though nothing I could say would put it right. Don’t want to argue or make you mad, put you down or go on when I’m sad. Everyone’s got a little bother in the back room feeling bad that we’ve been on a war-born path too long. Still I can hear the condescension of a proud demographic bound up in a bar room brawl, when everybody’s getting barred after, after all. I’ve read poems but also watch the football with my brother. I’ve heard Dylan and yeah I feel a
copyist at times. And on occasion I lose my mind, hating all the affectation inside. Come on home girl, I’m far too proud to cry but I think I need a cuddle and a nice bottle of wine. It’s been a long day.
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